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Unsetting expectations is important. When we don’t feel valued, worthy, or enough — and we’ve set the standards and expectations ourselves — it’s key that we unset them.
But, in all of that, we also need to learn how to (properly) set (proper) expectations too.
To prioritise ourselves.
To talk about ourselves and our work.
To ask for what we want.
To speak up.
To stand our ground.
So, while you’re learning how to unset the high expectations of yourself, learn how to set healthy ones in the process too.
It would be nice of me to give you the recipe for this sweet & sour expectations sauce. But, what I’ve learned through my experience is, these two are not separate processes. They’re intertwined. Two sides to the same coin.
And as we’re tearing down the high walls of our expectations, we are planting a seed of internal revolution. That little fearless, loud, confident kid is closer and closer, marching towards us as we’re bringing her the light. The dreams we once had, the thoughts we once thought — they’re all here. They have always been — we’ve just hidden them with bricks and bricks which turned to high walls of expectations, which were too heavy for her.
And as you take the walls and the bricks down, you’ll start to feel more like yourself. The true, authentic you. Like everything’s in sync. You’re going to start seeing and believing that the world is yours. And it is.
But you need to be patient. You have been hiding in the dark and quiet for so long that once you come out for the first time, you’ll need a period of adjustment. Just like your eyes when you turn on the light or open the shutters after they got used to the darkness.
But you WILL feel the awakening. Something will start to feel different. And it’s a new feeling so we’re not quite sure what it is yet, but it feels good.
And as you do the heavy work of unsetting expectations, being gentler to yourself and lowering down your inner critic — that revolution within you will keep on growing. And it’s going to become louder and louder, until it fully merges with you once you see it and it becomes you. A new beginning. A rebirth.
At that moment, it will feel like it happened all of a sudden, but in reality, it’s been taking place for a long, long time. And it’s all because of your work on yourself. Because you committed to doing the things that are right for you.
So, in this journey of unsetting expectations, you will inevitably become a rebel, and set some instead. And in that, you’ll set yourself.
I hope this post will inspire you to set healthy expectations and search within - for that little someone who’s keeping all of your dreams, and give them space.