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Envy drains our happiness and saps our energy. It can also be a very destructive emotion both mentally and physically. Sometimes it can be that you're actually feeling ashamed that you didn't do the same thing as the other person has done. As Brené Brown says, shame is one of the most toxic things you can feel. It's almost the baseline feeling for perfectionism, anxiety and so many other things.
Shame is that warm feeling that washes over us, making us feel small, flawed, and never good enough. — Brené Brown
Next time you feel envy, or any other destructive emotion, try to reflect on what exactly are you feeling here. It is important to pause and not take any action on your envy, says Rashmi Narayana, leadership and clarity coach. Instead, have a cup of coffee, go for a walk, and don't talk to anyone who may be attached to the outcome in some ways. Just pause, and think about what you're feeling in that moment, whether it's envy or shame or anger, and try to understand the need behind that emotion.
Although shame and envy are incredibly strong emotions and aren't easily dealt with, there are ways you can learn to control the negative aspects which involve a lot of self-awareness and self-control. You can talk to a therapist or a person who can view it from the outside and who can't project something onto you and the way you're feeling. You want to hear the opinion of someone who doesn't have a strong feeling on this subject.
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