Here at Unsetting Expectations HQ, we have a couple of resident experts whose nuggest of wisdom you'll receive every other Saturday. Today, mindset & confidence coach Nicola Charlotte teaches us how to make the best of your present in order to live a life with more happiness and success.

Many people struggle to do this because they are not aware of their thoughts. They have stories they tell themselves about themselves which limit them from being creative and successful, even if they are highly intelligent. The key is becoming aware of these thoughts so that you can change them for better ones! Here's how.


"If you worry too much about what might be, and wonder too long about what might have been, you will ignore and completely miss what is.

The future is uncertain - you don’t know what it holds. The past has happened - you can’t change it. So your best bet for living the best version of yourself as possible, is to make the best and most positive use of the present. This is by no means easy, but a lot of it comes down to mindset. Hence why I continually stress the importance of *dedicated* *daily*. mindset time!

🔸 Are you aware of the stories you’re telling yourself?

I’m not good with numbers”
“I’m always running late”
“I’m so clumsy”
“I’ll never get promoted”
“I can’t speak in front of an audience

Recognise any?

These are all stories being replayed over & over in your mind. These stories can be changed with mindset reprogramming. What stories do you need to let go of that aren't serving, or supporting you? Become aware of what language are you using when speaking to yourself.

✖️ Of course, there’ll be times we struggle, are challenged and tested, but remember, there’s rarely happiness, passion, or success without this struggle. These times help you grow, even if it’s hard to see right now. Reframe failure as a learning opportunity (cliche I know, but it’s a wonderful mindset shift to master).

All circumstances in life will direct you & affect you one way or another. Sometimes these circumstances may completely knock you down or catch you off guard - but when you feel like giving up, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before they can be right. Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive at your best. Then you can look back and see what incredible learnings you gained as a result.

With the present being all we have, it’s important to check in with yourself daily.

⏰ How are you setting yourself up each day to be at your best?

⏰ Are you putting in daily mindset work? For example, I meditate for 10minutes each morning and journal. I also try and have cold showers as often as possible as I find it invigorating & calming. I know fresh air & movement help me feel focused & grounded, so I get that in daily too.

⚡️What are your morning non-negotiables?

⚡️Perhaps you need firmer boundaries to better support you?

Remember, our mindset is like a muscle, so we need to work on it regularly to keep it strong, resilient and supporting us - not just rely on it when things get tough!